Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Felicity’s birth story

After going into labour at 28 weeks and then carefully observing 8 weeks of bed rest, Felicity decided that the womb was a pretty awesome place to be and she was staying put. My due date came and went without any sign that she was going to make an appearance.

On Wednesday afternoon (5 days past my due date), after trying nearly every natural labour inducer out there (red raspberry leaf, evening primrose oil, long walks, nipple stimulation, bouncing on the ball, spicy food, pineapple, stretch and sweeps, warm baths, meditation, sex, chiropractic adjustments, acupuncture) I finally turned to castor oil. I took 3 tablespoons in the early afternoon and crossed my fingers that the effects wouldn’t be too horrible.

The afternoon progressed and the castor oil didn’t seem to do a thing. I went to bed resigned to the fact that this baby was going nowhere till she was good and ready. At around 4am, I woke up to some pretty uncomfortable contractions. They were about 5 minutes apart, but I slept between them thinking that whether it was the real thing or not, I would need my rest. By 6am, they were too painful and regular to sleep any more so I got up. The castor oil finally made its way through my system and I wondered if it was just bowel cramps. Half an hour later, it was obvious that this was no false alarm.

I woke up Adam and Hayden and called the midwives. By this time, I had to stop, rock, and breathe through each contraction. Basak was on call, which I was thrilled about as she and I have very similar views on childbirth and interventions. I explained my progress and she told us that we needed to hurry up and get to the hospital. She warned me that if my water broke, things would progress REALLY fast.

Adam called my mum and Rain while I had a shower. He was calling his clients to cancel that day’s appointments when I came back downstairs. I told him to forget work and get Hayden ready because things were getting intense. Hayden was very sweet and hugging me, asking endless questions every time I had a contraction. We tried to explain to him that baby was coming and it hurt mummy a little. That he would meet his baby sister after school. We dropped him off around 7am and raced into Guelph. Adam decided to take the back roads and ended up at a dead end with construction. He quickly navigated other back roads, over bumps and dirt roads – the whole time my contractions were coming about every 3-4 minutes. He weaved around red lights and sped the whole way.

When we arrived at the hospital, Rain was just getting out of her car too. Rain helped me get to the L&D floor while Adam parked the car. She would very soothingly tell me I was doing great and rub my back and shoulders every time a contraction stopped our progress. We waited for what seemed like forever for the nurses to even let us into the floor. Basak came to open the door and we made our way directly to a birthing room. It was there that I learned that the birthing tub was out of order. This freaked me RIGHT out as it was my first choice for pain control.

I changed into a gown and laboured on my birthing ball – loving the movement and counter-pressure on my perineum. Basak and Christine helped to guide my vocalizations to be long and drawn out. When they checked me, I was about 4cm but Christine thought that she could feel a nose or brow presenting. Basak felt as well and confirmed. They agreed to let me continue labouring in hopes that baby would turn. My water was still intact and there was a chance baby would turn on her own as the contractions continued. Mum arrived while I was in full-on labour mode, vocalizing quite loudly through each contraction.

Around this time (maybe 9am) the contractions started getting really intense. I tried labouring in the shower for a few minutes but just ended up feeling cold and wet so back to the bed we went. When they checked me again I was 6cm but Basak still felt facial features. They called the OB to confirm as a face-first presentation could not be delivered naturally. He was in the operating room and could be there in 45 minutes.

Mum, Rain and Adam were all very attentive birth attendants. They put cold cloths on my neck and brow, gave me fluids, encouraged me gently through each contraction and surrounded me with love. The midwives were great at doing all the technical procedures in the background without interrupting my rhythm. They were also having trouble getting a good heart rate on the baby. They started an IV to give me more fluids and also gave me rescue remedy to try and calm me down. The OB arrived, checked me and said that the baby seemed to be presenting fine. He broke my water and they found thin muconium in my fluid. He applied a scalp monitor to baby’s head to get a more reliable read on her heart. This was not very successful and a little concerning, but the reason why will be explained as the story unfolds.

I sort of lost my cool around this time and the pain overwhelmed me. I was practically screaming through each contraction. After an hour of contractions with the water broken I was still 6cm. Basak told me that she thought something was not quite right. She said if baby was in the optimal position, her head would be pressing on my cervix and I should have delivered her by now. She suggested an epidural to relax my body. I agreed enthusiastically.

After the epidural was in place, I felt my sanity returning. The intensity of labouring without drugs had been overwhelming. Probably what pushed me over the edge was knowing that even with all the pain, I wasn’t progressing. Basak kicked everyone out of the room and insisted I sleep for a few hours to see if my body totally relaxed, baby would turn and come down. While I lay there quietly, I had a good internal chat with this baby and encouraged her to come out, that I loved her and that I wished for her health. In return, I got a very strong feeling that this baby was a girl.

I slept for two hours. When Basak checked me again, I was still 6cm and again she felt a face. At this point she said that she believed baby was face down the whole time. There was no way I could vaginally deliver a baby in this position and it would be impossible to turn her head without harming her face. I would have to have a c-section. The doctor re-appeared, confirmed the position and said I would be heading to the OR in 15 minutes. I cried a little as after so much effort to deliver her without any drugs or intervention, I was now going to endure the most medical birth out there.

After kissing everyone goodbye, they wheeled me to the OR and began preparations. My legs were straightened and strapped down, my belly was scrubbed, a top-up of my epidural left me with only pressure sensation below my chest, and the sheet was raised to keep me from looking at the surgery. Adam was seated by my left side and held my hand as the surgery began. The midwives asked for weight and gender guesses and they both chose weights in the 7 lb range with a girl. I said 8lbs 6ozs, girl, and they both told me there was no way I had a baby over 8lbs in my belly (which had measured small all through the last trimester).

The procedure was quite quick and before I knew it, I felt incredible pressure as they tried to pull her from my belly. Her head was so stuck in my pelvis that they had to widen the incision and use forceps to pry her out. And then, the most wonderful sound a mother could hear – she cried and the doctor announced that it was a girl. I burst into tears.

Basak took her to the warming table to clean her off and get her APGAR scores. Adam followed and took photos of her first minutes of life. She scored a 9, 9 and 10 on her APGARs and was breathing really well. On the scale, everyone was shocked. I was dead on – she was 8lbs 6ozs. They bundled her up and brought her to me, holding her beside my face so I could look at this little stubborn lady. Despite being warned that her face might be black and blue from pushing against my pelvis, she was perfect. She was a little swollen (earning her the nickname squishy) and she had one mark above her eyebrow where the doctor had applied the scalp probe (no wonder they couldn’t keep a good read on her!). I gently stroked her face and welcomed Felicity to the world. She frowned at me and blinked furiously at the bright lights.

As they stitched me back up, Adam and the midwives went back to our room to share Felicity with mum and Rain. The doctor gave me two medications for nausea and I was right out of it.

Soon I was being wheeled back to my room to reunite with my daughter. She was placed in my arms and we stared at each other in loving wonder. I brought her to my breast and she instantly began nursing. She had an excellent latch from the start – a nursing natural.

Felicity is the opposite of her brother’s personality so far. She sits quietly studying and frowning at the world around her and cries only when she’s hungry or has gas. At a week old, she already sleeping for long stretches and has gained 7oz from her birth weight. She has a head full of light brown hair and chubby little thighs.

She’s an angel baby and has dispelled my belief that I would have a house full of boys. After looking at my own baby pictures, she’s a dead ringer for the infant me. And so far, she has my relaxed personality as well. And so our family seems complete – Hayden is a mini-Adam and Felicity takes after her mum. What a perfect beginning.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Beware - hormonal manatee ahead

Today is my due date and I think I have officially come off my rocker. The rational side of my brain understands that a due date is an educated guess that shouldn't really matter. But the pregnant, hormonal side says that it's now been 40 weeks, my timer has dinged so where is my baby?!

I find myself retreating into solitude these days. Every time I venture out, even just to get vitamins, I either get a slack-jawed stare (directed straight at my balloon belly) or I get the lame dog sympathy look. Both now drive me crazy. And that's without the constant comments about how I should enjoy these final days and how sensual a pregnant woman is. I've ceased to become a customer, a neighbour, another person on the street. Now I'm "a pregnant woman." My belly defines who I am, how people interact with me, the conversations I have...and quite frankly, I'm tired of it.

And so, a warning for all of you who will potentially talk to me, call me, email me, or FaceBook me in the next two weeks: please do not talk about the baby or my pregnancy. Whatever you do, don't ask me if I've had the baby yet. Trust me, when I do, you'll know. And for heaven's sake, do NOT tell me to enjoy it, predict the baby will come a week from now, or tell me how big I am. Talk to me about politics, the news, celebrity gossip, or pretty much anything except reminding me that I'm still pregnant.

Thanks.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Up yours fates!

It seems that the fates have decided that my pregnancy with Hayden was too perfect. Too easy. I conceived him effortlessly and had a dream pregnancy, delivering him at 37 weeks. Before I ever had a thought of wishing it were over. I was one of those women who loved being pregnant - every moment of it!

With this pregnancy, apparently I'm running a different kind of race. I had partial placenta previa (now resolved), pre-term labour at 28 weeks (with my cervix dilating and effacing), nearly 8 weeks on bed rest, and now, I'm closing in on my actual due date (two days away) and my cervix has actually reversed in progress (something my midwife had never seen)! I think it would only be fitting for me to now go overdue and have to be induced, leaving my dream of an unmedicated birth behind me and completing my obstacle course of a pregnancy.

Ah the fates. They sure do know how to test us....Well up yours fates. I'm still standing.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

9 days to D Day!

Wow, September 16. Never thought I'd see a September birth date, let alone one in the late half of the month! Apparently I was so good at bed rest that I've managed to convince this belly bean to stay put for the long haul! I'm now almost 39 weeks. I've never been this pregnant before. (Hayden was born at 37 weeks!) Things are going well: I'm feeling good, baby is growing (though still measuring small), and for the most part baby stays head down now.

I find myself really appreciating and craving my time with Hayden now. Knowing that soon a little life will be demanding and dictating our lives, I feel that my one-on-one time with Hayden is even more precious. He seems to sense that a change is coming too and has been an absolute delight lately (aside from our nightly dinner battle). He makes me laugh constantly and has been spending extra time wrapped in my arms.

My realization that I won't be able to spoil my boy with undivided attention has resulted in a weird side effect. Nearly every night I have a vivid dream where I lose Hayden, he gets really hurt or we're in a really dangerous situation. I guess my unconscious mind is struggling to comprehend how I'll keep an eye on my mini-kamikaze with an infant. I'm sure the first few weeks and months will be a struggle, but we'll figure it out.

Hopefully any day now I'll be posting to tell you all about my delivery and the new little life we welcomed into the world! Wish us luck on the final leg of this pregnancy journey! And think smooth and fast labour thoughts for me!

Friday, August 28, 2009

D Day

My mum has given her prediction that this baby will be born this weekend. Man...I hope she's right. She's also predicted that this baby will be a boy. We'll see on that one - all this labour drama makes me think this might just be a girl!

When do you think baby will come? Think it's a boy or a girl? Time to place your bets!

At my last midwife appointment they told me that baby should have settled into his/her birthing position by now. But, being a tricky baby, this one continues to flip from head down to sideways, even with just a few weeks until I'm due. The midwives did talk about performing an external version followed by breaking my waters, giving me pitocin and a host of other interventions. Exactly the type of thing I wanted to avoid and one of the main reasons I chose the midwives. Their main concern is that my waters will break when baby is sideways, allowing the cord to be pinched in the birth canal. I have my next appointment on Tuesday and I'm hoping to convince them that this unlikely (though very dangerous) situation does not seem to be reason enough for a very medical birth.

So until my appointment, I continue to practice weird contortionist moves in an effort to keep baby in optimal position. Adam did take a photo of said exercises...though I don't think I want to share. I'm drinking red raspberry leaf tea to strengthen my uterus and taking evening primrose oil to prepare my cervix. Yup, I've become a crazy hippie pregnant woman (according to Adam). I prefer to think of it as proactive pre-parenting - doing everything I can to make this labour and delivery smooth and quick!

And so - think labour thoughts for me this weekend! Hopefully mum is right and this rollercoaster ride is nearly over!

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Bed rest learnings

It's been forever since I've posted. I chalk it up to two things.
  1. My space bar on the lap top doesn't work (a wine accident last year) which makes typing anything beyond a paragraph absolutely infuriating. If I didn't go back and individually add spaces beside every word myblogwouldlookalotlikethis.
  2. I've been funneling my creative efforts into something else. I started my own little WAHM (that's Work At Home Mum for you non-anagram savvy folks) business making sock stuffie animals. It's done wonders to keep me sane and it earns me a few dollars (and I do mean only a few).
I'm still officially on bed rest. According to the scratches on the wall, I'm now into week eight. I'm 35 weeks though, which is past the real danger zone so I've been slowly weaning myself of my horizontal life. Every little chore or outing leaves me exhausted and breathless but also filled with a weird sort of pride for getting something done (other than completing another successful womb day for the belly bean).

I've made some interesting observations while being a shut in.
  1. I crave face-to-face human contact and go a little crazy if I go more than a few days only talking to Adam.
  2. I can't watch TV. I mean, it's often on but I can't focus on it for any length of time during the day. So many wonderful people have given me movies and seasons to watch, but they sit unopened on the shelf.
  3. If I let myself, I could nap for an hour or two every afternoon. The Mexicans know what they're talking about with siestas.
  4. I miss Hayden like crazy all day but am often short-tempered with him only three hours after he gets home. I hate the "edge" that pregnancy hormones give me.
  5. My husband is a damn fine cook.
  6. My neighbourhood rocks. It reminds me a lot of how a neighbourhood would have looked 60 years ago. Back when you knew who lived next to you and watched out for them.
  7. The National Do Not Call registry doesn't work worth a crap. I get at least three unsolicited telemarketer phone calls a day.
  8. Pending labour signs cease to be interesting or even noted after you've been having them for over a week. I think the baby will have to actually fall out for me to believe it's the real thing.
  9. I'm ready to have this baby. I know that two more weeks in utero is optimal, but my mind, my body, and my marriage would be better off if I didn't have to coddle my cervix any longer. There's only so much any of those factors can take and I think we're there.
  10. Hayden is going to make an awesome big brother. Every day he sings to my belly, sometimes making up songs for the baby. Today as the baby kicked and rolled in reaction to his voice he told me "Baby's bigger now mummy. He's ready to come out." He still believes that my belly button is the baby's exit route.
And so, that's the deal. I've been in labour with this little one for over seven weeks. And don't think I won't use this fact to my advantage when he/she becomes a lippy teenager!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The horizonal pro-star

Today marks one full week of bed rest. Somehow, it seems to be getting easier instead of harder. I'm convinced that this is because for the past two days, I've had a few hours in the morning without contractions. Knowing that this horizontal position is actually helping makes being a lump feel more like an activity in baby-saving. I'm the only one who can protect and help the baby right now and I've accepted that the best way to do that is by doing nothing at all. Took a few days to get my head into this frame of mind, but now that I'm here, I'm feeling better about things.

Adam is doing a fabulous job of keeping the house from falling apart and making sure that Hayden has some active play time every night. He's managed to keep Hayden's schedule similar and thus Hayden doesn't seem overly put out by the other changes. Despite a few rocky moments, we've adjusted pretty well as a family.

I've been constantly surprised and touched by the people in our life who have stepped forward to help out. Whether by watching Hayden, cooking, calling in to check on me, or offering to take me to my multiple appointments, we have an army of awesome friends and family members standing beside us.

Every day I make a short log entry to document my contractions and sensations. With no real concept of time or days, it helps me to see patterns in improvement. I've also taken to checking my cervix once a day to make sure I'm not dilating further. I find that I can do it gently and non-invasively enough that I don't irritate anything. Instead, I give myself peace of mind when I've had a particularly crampy day that it's not necessarily doing anything.

Tomorrow is a big day of Rhogam shots and another ultrasound to check my cervix. If my cervix is still long and closed enough, I may just go on modified bed rest to see how my body handles more vertical time.

Cross your fingers!