Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Twins? Super Baby? The ultrasound revealed all!

So yesterday I had my ultrasound. It was pushed up because of my contractions a week ago and was already earlier than most anatomy scans to see if there was any reason for my early movement, slightly large fundal height (belly measurements) and puketastic morning sickness. The word twins was thrown around cautiously and got me super excited.
So at the scan, all was revealed.....
Amazingly - only one baby in there. One big giant constantly-moving baby! I was seriously surprised when I asked how many there were in there and she said one. I just had this strong gut feeling that there were twins...wishful thinking perhaps?!

The tech got all her measurements in record time. She then let Adam, my mum and I stare at our little bean dancing away in there for a good ten minutes. Now the first place she went was right between the legs, just as I blurted out - "we don't want to know the sex!" But it may have been too late. I think my instinct was right and this little one is a boy. A brother for Hayden! Time will tell! Only 21 weeks till we know for sure! (Pictures will be uploaded as soon as I can scan them!)

I should find out today at my midwife appointment if I can go off pelvic rest (cross your fingers)!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Out of the mouths...

Last night, as I was giving Hayden a bath, my shirt inched up over my growing belly.

"Mummy, you have a big belly!" Hayden exclaimed wide-eyed.

"Do you know why Mummy's belly is big? What's in there?" I asked him

"A baby!!!" He squealed.

Then he looked at my belly pensively for a moment.

"A dead baby." He added quietly.

Now, I don't know where that came from or why he said it, but it COMPLETELY threw me for a loop. Especially because this little active bean has been quite quiet in the last week. I'm a firm believer that children are much more acutely tapped into their sixth sense than adults. So when Hayden says something like this, I have trouble just dismissing it.

He had the same quiet tone at Grampa's funeral earlier this month. When we went to look at Grampa in the coffin, I whispered to Hayden that it looked like Grampa was sleeping.

"He's not seeping mummy. Gampa's dead," he returned completely matter-of-a-factly. It just took my breath away as no one had explained life and death to him yet. No one had actually said that Grampa had passed in such blatent terms around him.

Let's just say that I'm paying special attention to the flutters and kicks today. And I'm really looking forward to my ultrasound tomorrow to get some peace of mind.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Whoa old Nelly!

Last Saturday, the first really warm day this year, Adam and I decided to tackle the back yard. We're completely landscaping the yard and the first step was to rescue all of our bulbs and plants before tilling the land.

There I was in 20 degree weather, digging out bulbs, replanting them in pots, mixing in mulch and building up a sweat. When I stopped to catch my breath, I realized that not only was my stomach tightening on a pretty regular basis, but I was also cramping along with the contractions. Dang nab it!

I came inside and sat down for a while, drinking some water (the first thing doctors usually tell you to do). Eventually, the pain subsided and the tightening lessened. I figured all was fine and went about the rest of my day, taking breaks as needed when the pain returned.

On Sunday I kept having the same cramping any time I did anything moderately strenuous (chasing Hayden, carrying laundry up the stairs, grocery shopping). So I decided I'd call my midwife on Monday to let her know (heaven forbid I call the emergency pager and interrupt somebody's weekend).

Well didn't I get an earful for not calling the pager when I was having the contractions. She said I definitely should have contacted the practice and probably should have gone to the hospital. She explained that it very well could have been symptoms of pre-term labour and my cervix could be shortening or dilating. This early activity could make it difficult for my body to carry the baby to term. Uh oh.

So now I'm on pelvic rest with strict instructions not to lift anything more than 15 pounds, not to exert myself, and no nookie. I had my ultrasound appointment bumped up too so they could look at my cervix length. The midwife asked if I wanted an emergency scan this week, but since I have the full anatomy scan next week anyways, we compromised and moved my ultrasound up to Tuesday of next week.

I have to admit that hearing how serious it could be really freaked me out. I guess I have to take these physical warning signs more seriously...I'm not the young filly I was!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Now I lay me down to sleep...

For the past two weeks, my life has revolved around beds.

On the happy note, we finally moved Hayden from his crib into a big boy bed. Despite my trepidation about having my kamakaze kid free to roam the hall upstairs, the transition has been absolutely painless (knock on wood). I now lay him down and kiss him goodnight and he stays in his bed until I come to get him (even for naps). I would never have even wished for this kind of flawless change, thinking it too beyond our abilities as parent and child. Hayden continues to surprise me this way and makes me realize that I underestimate him sometimes.

The other half of my recent bed-based life is a much more heart breaking one. Two weeks ago, Adam's paternal grandfather was diagnosed with terminal cancer. We spent an afternoon beside his hospital bed as we awaited the diagnosis, making jokes about his airy wardrobe and about how we were competing for the largest stomach. He was in amazing spirits, and seemed set on making the rest of us feel comfortable with his condition.

A week later, grampa opted to go home for his final days. It was a decision that I hope everyone has a chance to make some day. Moving back to his home put him in a place that he was comfortable with. A place that Gramma didn't have to ferry back and forth to. Somewhere that family could be with him day and night. Family rallied around him to ensure that someone always stayed the night with he and Gramma should anything happen.

When we went to see him on the last weekend of March, we joked about him stealing so much hospital equipment and how he was planning to pack light for his big journey home to heaven. That weekend the entire family came to see him and say their goodbyes, to gather around him and offer each other support. Adam and I took pictuers of each member of the family sitting and laughing with Grampa. We also took video to capture his boisterous spirit and the love that poured out for him.

This Thursday we got the call that Grampa had taken a turn for the worse. Adam and I both took Friday off to spend the day with him. In the six hours we spent at his bedside, grampa was lucid for maybe five minutes. The rest of the time, he was in a deep sleep, not responding to words, but giggling and groaning happily when we massaged his feet or back.

Saturday afternoon we returned to find the family gathered together at Gramma and Grampa's house once again. Grampa had drifted into a state of unconsciousness, though seemed aware when loved ones were near. He passed that afternoon, after waiting until his youngest daughter sat by his bedside and told him she was there. He held on until he had his whole family around him before departing on his journey back to God.

We are all going to miss Grampa tremendously. He was one heck of a grandfather, father, and husband. His influence and the love he shared was truly evident in the faces and hearts of those around him as he departed.

God bless you Grampa, may you rest in peace with your saviour.