I’ve lost…

• My past
• My career
• My self-worth
• My ability to follow pretty much anything through from start to finish without wandering off to investigate something shiny
• My confidence
• My place in a conversation nearly every day for the past three years
• Two years of my children’s’ lives
• Thousands of dollars
• My ability to seamlessly blend into any crowd comfortably
• Literal months worth of sleep
• Friends and relationships
• My independence
• My awesome dream repertoire where I conquered everything thrown at me, could fly and breathe underwater
• My religion
• The respect of my neighbours (Let's just say that keeping up with the Jones' didn't ever register on my to-do list. I also collected garbage for about a year.)
• My sense of security
• My dog (I couldn't offer her the love and care she needed - even though I was at home. She's now my parent's pampered pup)
• All trust in the medical profession/system
• My hair
• My confidence in driving (especially at night or on highways/ in busy cities)
• My love of travel
• My friendships in Ottawa...with the exception of two very determined women who won't give up on me
• Faith in my gut instinct
• Countless hours with people I love
• My memories
• My health
• My ability to hear, see, smell, experience anything medical without the onset of spastic anxiety
• My privacy
• My professional circle
• My flawless resume
• My ability to write and speak easily and fluidly
• My faith in right and wrong, letting karma carry the burden
• My knack of being able to talk to anyone, anywhere
• My outgoing, Pollyanna personality
• My ability to manage money
• The skill of multitasking
• My decisiveness
• Attendance at special family events (weddings, baby showers, birthday parties, etc.)
• Any ability to deal with stress or stressful situations
• My temper more times than I’d like to admit
• My thesaurus brain
• My appetite
• The weight equivalent to my three year-old because of the stress
• My way/ my destination while driving too many times to count
• The respect of my peers
• My church
• The healing birth I needed
• The ability to have more children; physically and mentally
• Trust in my body
• My mind.
That enough? Motherfuckers?!