Pregnancy log - final entry

From here on in, we're blogging in real time (and about more than pregnancy). This is the last entry in the private log I kept while on hiatus.

February 26, 2009
Little one, you have been making yourself quite comfortable in my tummy. For the better part of three weeks I was utterly miserable with nausea and food aversions. The Diclectin was my best friend and managed to take away enough of the nausea edge that I could function like a normal human. Just this week, my stomach woes seem to be lifting. I’m down to only one pill a day, though I still eat quite lightly at night. I’m now 10 weeks pregnant and have not yet gained a pound. I think with Hayden, at this point I’d gained about five. Although with Hayden, I felt pretty good the whole time I was pregnant!

Fatigue is my new companion. I drag myself out of bed at 6am every morning and struggle to stay awake until 8pm at night. My down time has been converted to sleep time and my alone time with Adam has dwindled to almost nothing. I’m looking forward to the second trimester when I will hopefully begin to feel more myself.

Over the past few days, my belly has popped out into an almost rounded shape. For the past four weeks, I looked like I’d just eaten one too many hamburgers. Having a distinct roundness to my growth is so comforting. It lets me know that this is all really true. I really am pregnant.

I’ve told all my coworkers and my boss. Annie was awesome and seemed almost as excited as I was. She asked dozens of questions about when you’re due and how old your brother will be. I really feel that she’s supportive of you and I. Word is now spreading around the building and I catch people’s eyes darting to my belly when they pass to monitor our growth!

Last night I woke up at 2am and could not fall asleep. I was suddenly struck with the reality that with a midwife, I’ve signed myself up to give birth without an epidural. While this is much better for you – apparently it gives me mild panic attacks. Knowing how painful labour was with Hayden, I’m just not confident that my body can do it without some pain relief. I’m hoping that perhaps since you’ve been harder on my body at the beginning, you’ll grace me with a relatively easy end! (A mama can hope.) I’ll have to talk to my midwife at our next appointment (next week) and try to make myself more confident that I can do it with their support.

I’ve been a bear lately. My hormones seem to be my master as I find myself getting angry and irritable on almost a daily basis. Everyone tells me that my mood, combined with my sickness means that you will be a girl. They almost have me convinced. I always thought that I’d have a house full of boys, but you’ve made this pregnancy so very different from your brother. Perhaps it’s your way of exerting your independence and showing me that regardless of your gender, you are not just a clone of your brother I guess I just have to wait another seven months to find out!