Beware - hormonal manatee ahead

Today is my due date and I think I have officially come off my rocker. The rational side of my brain understands that a due date is an educated guess that shouldn't really matter. But the pregnant, hormonal side says that it's now been 40 weeks, my timer has dinged so where is my baby?!

I find myself retreating into solitude these days. Every time I venture out, even just to get vitamins, I either get a slack-jawed stare (directed straight at my balloon belly) or I get the lame dog sympathy look. Both now drive me crazy. And that's without the constant comments about how I should enjoy these final days and how sensual a pregnant woman is. I've ceased to become a customer, a neighbour, another person on the street. Now I'm "a pregnant woman." My belly defines who I am, how people interact with me, the conversations I have...and quite frankly, I'm tired of it.

And so, a warning for all of you who will potentially talk to me, call me, email me, or FaceBook me in the next two weeks: please do not talk about the baby or my pregnancy. Whatever you do, don't ask me if I've had the baby yet. Trust me, when I do, you'll know. And for heaven's sake, do NOT tell me to enjoy it, predict the baby will come a week from now, or tell me how big I am. Talk to me about politics, the news, celebrity gossip, or pretty much anything except reminding me that I'm still pregnant.

Thanks.

Up yours fates!

It seems that the fates have decided that my pregnancy with Hayden was too perfect. Too easy. I conceived him effortlessly and had a dream pregnancy, delivering him at 37 weeks. Before I ever had a thought of wishing it were over. I was one of those women who loved being pregnant - every moment of it!

With this pregnancy, apparently I'm running a different kind of race. I had partial placenta previa (now resolved), pre-term labour at 28 weeks (with my cervix dilating and effacing), nearly 8 weeks on bed rest, and now, I'm closing in on my actual due date (two days away) and my cervix has actually reversed in progress (something my midwife had never seen)! I think it would only be fitting for me to now go overdue and have to be induced, leaving my dream of an unmedicated birth behind me and completing my obstacle course of a pregnancy.

Ah the fates. They sure do know how to test us....Well up yours fates. I'm still standing.

9 days to D Day!

Wow, September 16. Never thought I'd see a September birth date, let alone one in the late half of the month! Apparently I was so good at bed rest that I've managed to convince this belly bean to stay put for the long haul! I'm now almost 39 weeks. I've never been this pregnant before. (Hayden was born at 37 weeks!) Things are going well: I'm feeling good, baby is growing (though still measuring small), and for the most part baby stays head down now.

I find myself really appreciating and craving my time with Hayden now. Knowing that soon a little life will be demanding and dictating our lives, I feel that my one-on-one time with Hayden is even more precious. He seems to sense that a change is coming too and has been an absolute delight lately (aside from our nightly dinner battle). He makes me laugh constantly and has been spending extra time wrapped in my arms.

My realization that I won't be able to spoil my boy with undivided attention has resulted in a weird side effect. Nearly every night I have a vivid dream where I lose Hayden, he gets really hurt or we're in a really dangerous situation. I guess my unconscious mind is struggling to comprehend how I'll keep an eye on my mini-kamikaze with an infant. I'm sure the first few weeks and months will be a struggle, but we'll figure it out.

Hopefully any day now I'll be posting to tell you all about my delivery and the new little life we welcomed into the world! Wish us luck on the final leg of this pregnancy journey! And think smooth and fast labour thoughts for me!