Out of the mouths...

Last night, as I was giving Hayden a bath, my shirt inched up over my growing belly.

"Mummy, you have a big belly!" Hayden exclaimed wide-eyed.

"Do you know why Mummy's belly is big? What's in there?" I asked him

"A baby!!!" He squealed.

Then he looked at my belly pensively for a moment.

"A dead baby." He added quietly.

Now, I don't know where that came from or why he said it, but it COMPLETELY threw me for a loop. Especially because this little active bean has been quite quiet in the last week. I'm a firm believer that children are much more acutely tapped into their sixth sense than adults. So when Hayden says something like this, I have trouble just dismissing it.

He had the same quiet tone at Grampa's funeral earlier this month. When we went to look at Grampa in the coffin, I whispered to Hayden that it looked like Grampa was sleeping.

"He's not seeping mummy. Gampa's dead," he returned completely matter-of-a-factly. It just took my breath away as no one had explained life and death to him yet. No one had actually said that Grampa had passed in such blatent terms around him.

Let's just say that I'm paying special attention to the flutters and kicks today. And I'm really looking forward to my ultrasound tomorrow to get some peace of mind.

The simple things in life

Me: Isn't the sky beautiful this morning buddy? (refrerring to the pink blush that spread across the horizon as we arrived at school)

Hayden: Pitty mummy, vewy pitty. Makes the birdies happy.

Me: You're right - the birdies are singing away. They must like the pretty sky too.

Hayden: Makes mummy happy too?

Me: Yes buddy, you know, it does make mummy happy.

Hayden: Pitty sky make mummy and birdies happy. Dat makes me happy. Tank you sun.

Christmas magic

I've been talking a lot about Christmas to Hayden lately. We talk about baby Jesus, Santa, and about sharing good will with our neighbours and friends. I've been trying to round out his understanding of Christmas so it's not just about getting gifts. I want him to look forward to the magic of Christmas, the chance to be with family, the joy of giving to others. He seems to be taking it all in stride and often references baby Jesus and Santa together - like he imagines them living together in the North Pole.

Last year, when he came face to face with the man in red, Hayden freaked. He wanted nothing to do with Santa, nor the gift he offered. When I heard that Santa would be visiting my work for the children's party last Sunday, I was tentative to say the least.


I don't want to push Santa on Hayden - I know that for many he represents the commercialism of Christmas. But to me, Santa is a symbol of Christmas that children can understand. He represents giving and sharing, the magic of Christmas and all that is good in the world.

Aware that the day might just end in tears, we packed ourselves into the car and headed to the Christmas party. I warned Hayden that Santa would be coming and told him how he would arrive using flying reindeers. By the time Santa showed up (appearing on the top floor as if he had landed on the roof), Hayden was actually giddy with excitement.

"In da sky mama! Santa in da sky!"

We casually moved closer to Santa as he reached the main level, far enough away that Hayden could watch the other kids mill about the jolly old elf without getting involved. Santa eventually took his place amongst the presents. The kids settled on the floor in a horseshoe and Santa began calling each child by name to sit on his knee.

When he called Hayden's name, I held my breath, not knowing how he would react. Hayden is not someone who is warm to strangers. Even his grandparents are met with suspicion if more than a week goes by between visits.

Well, didn't he just blow us all away by confidently walking BY HIMSELF through the throngs of children to sit on Santa's lap. He wouldn't talk to Santa and didn't make much eye contact, but he did it! He made me so proud. It was all he could talk about that night - so I know he was pleased with himself too.


With his fear of Santa now conquered, Hayden is on to even bigger things: this morning he asked if he can go and see baby Jesus!

Oh no you didn't!

So tonight I was giving Hayden a bath. Our usual nightly routine: bubbles, bath crayons, lots of splashing and mummy trying to stay somewhat dry. Just your every day bath...or so I thought...

Near the end of his bath, Hayden decided he wanted to hide in the bath cave. He insisted that I pull the shower curtain across and then would lay on his tummy, giggling to himself. Every few seconds, I'd peek around the curtain and he'd shriek "No mummy! I iding!" And so the game continued for a few minutes.

And then it happened...

I pulled back the curtain to peek on him again and what did I spy?

Oh no...

Oh yes.

"I poop mummy!" He proudly exclaimed. "I poop a big poop in de baf! Yook!"