Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Not just hearing

To keep my sanity and actually get anything done, I often continue cooking dinner or reading blogs while Hayden waxes eloquently in the background. But my bright little boy has realized that mummy is not always very good at multi-tasking. He recognizes now when I'm concentrating on my other task and not on his important news. Now, when he feels that he's not being given his due attention, he holds my cheeks in his little hands and turns me to face him.

"Yook at me mama."

He stares intently at me through long lashes, his face a picture of seriousness.

It's only after he's sure that I'm focused solely on him that he will continue, usually talking very slowly to make sure that I understand every important word that passes his lips.

With this small act, this purposeful touch and look he reminds me how fleeting life is. It won't be long before I have to drag the words from him. Before I'm met with the grunts and shrugs that epitomize the teenage years.
My sweet heartsong, I promise that from now on, I wont just hear you, but I'll listen to you. Every precious word you care to share.


The W.O.W. factor said...

Wow! WordMama! That is wonderful you recognized his 'need'! I've seen so many parents fail in that department! My kids real dad failed miserably! And they hesitated NOT to let him know, recently, how it hurt them for so many years! Cowboy always, always took the time to listen and to HEAR!
You are such an amazing Mom! It is what kept me coming here from the moment I discoverd your blog!
You are an amazing woman!!

Anonymous said...

Never a truer word. That is why when I am blessed with a day with any of my grandchildren I spend the whole day with them and only them and cherish every moment. As a grandmother I have the time to do that. As a mum I often didn't. I realize more and more what a gift it is to be a grandmother. I absolutely love it!
Muma Mugs

wordmama said...

It's such an bad habit to start and one that has such a big impact on little hearts. I only hope that I stay true to my word.

W.O.W. - thank you for your support. You always have positive words for me to remind me that I'm doing the right thing.

And mum - your grandkids enjoy you as much as you enjoy them. Hayden now "calls you" on his cell phone quite often. You're usually in the middle of telling him something when he says "gotta go gan" and hangs up. Just like daddy!

Nick and Ce said...

In my early counselling practice it seems to be a very frequent cry from clients, young and adult, not being heard.

Fortunately I've not had any client hold my cheeks and turn my head yet!!

The W.O.W. factor said...

I read your moms words, and you know, when I spent 10 days with the grandkids last Spring, my daughter told me about the 5th day there, that Makenna told her the night before how much she enjoyed having Grammy (me) there, cuz I played with them and read and walked with! When Gramma G is here, all she does is stay in the kitchen cooking.." Those words will warm my heart forever!I will forgo cooking anyday to BE with those kids!! PB&J's can't hurt them a bit!