Last night I came home after a particularly long and intense day in the office feeling pretty sorry for myself. It was a thinky kind of day - all day - and I was exhausted both in mind and body. Adam came home about half an hour after Hayden and I had settled.
Adam: How was your day?
Me: Crappy. I feel like I've been scrambling all day. I had to
Adam: Wait a second. Instead of telling me what went wrong, tell me three good things about today.
Me: (thinking) Well...Stacey told me that she really missed talking and joking with me when I'm this busy, the recognition team surprised me with a pizza lunch and I found out one of the girls on my TTC board just got a positive pregnancy test after months and months of trying!
Adam: See! I came in and you looked like a bus had hit you. Now - you're smiling.
Man....I love my brilliant husband.
Friday, January 23, 2009
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
From McMama to Super mum
I am not one for New Years resolutions. In fact, I think New Years as a whole is overrated and over-hyped. Most years, my January 1st celebrations turned out to be a big let down, despite an excess of planning (and often money too). I find that the resolution part of New Years usually ends in the same disappointment. I gear myself up for a big life change only to throw up my hands a few weeks later. Given the flux of gym memberships between now and March, I know I’m not alone.
This year, for the first time in nearly a decade, I have set a resolution. I resolve to live a healthier lifestyle. I’m going to try to eat better, exercise more, and drink less. It’s not that I’m super unhealthy at present, I just feel that I’ve become lazy. At least once a week, we’ve been getting takeout or eating a meal from a box because I didn’t plan ahead. Plus, I sometimes go a whole weekend without stepping foot outside! And this is from a girl who spent her 19th birthday snowshoeing, dog sledding and sleeping outside in a quinze (like an igloo) in the far north of Tamagame. I’ve somehow lost the adventurous side of myself and I want it back!
I know that with Hayden being young, our lifestyle is his lifestyle. If we eat crap, so does he. If we hunker down and watch movies all day, he’s stuck indoors too. It’s this realization that really pushes me and leads me to believe that I’ll actually be successful in my 2009 resolution.
Now is the perfect time to instil a love of adventure in him. I remember from a very young age, my parents would pack us all in the car with the dog and we’d hike the Bruce Trail every Sunday. I think it was these excursions that sparked my love of nature and continued my hiking development well into my 20s. I want Hayden to have this experience too.
And so, by blogging this I’ve made a public declaration. I’ve committed myself to following through. If I fail, I urge you all to boo and hiss at me!
Here’s to 2009 being the healthiest year in over a decade!
This year, for the first time in nearly a decade, I have set a resolution. I resolve to live a healthier lifestyle. I’m going to try to eat better, exercise more, and drink less. It’s not that I’m super unhealthy at present, I just feel that I’ve become lazy. At least once a week, we’ve been getting takeout or eating a meal from a box because I didn’t plan ahead. Plus, I sometimes go a whole weekend without stepping foot outside! And this is from a girl who spent her 19th birthday snowshoeing, dog sledding and sleeping outside in a quinze (like an igloo) in the far north of Tamagame. I’ve somehow lost the adventurous side of myself and I want it back!
I know that with Hayden being young, our lifestyle is his lifestyle. If we eat crap, so does he. If we hunker down and watch movies all day, he’s stuck indoors too. It’s this realization that really pushes me and leads me to believe that I’ll actually be successful in my 2009 resolution.
Now is the perfect time to instil a love of adventure in him. I remember from a very young age, my parents would pack us all in the car with the dog and we’d hike the Bruce Trail every Sunday. I think it was these excursions that sparked my love of nature and continued my hiking development well into my 20s. I want Hayden to have this experience too.
And so, by blogging this I’ve made a public declaration. I’ve committed myself to following through. If I fail, I urge you all to boo and hiss at me!
Here’s to 2009 being the healthiest year in over a decade!
Monday, January 5, 2009
The miracle of life
Back in October, I told you all that Adam and I were going to start trying to conceive our second child. It took me a little while to sway Adam into tossing the birth control, namely because when we decided to get pregnant the first time, it only took us one try. He wanted to be sure he was absolutely ready as undoubtedly, in two weeks I’d be announcing to him that there was a bun in the oven.
That, my friends, has not been the case. We’re now in January and I still have no news to share. And this is not from a lack of effort – let me tell you. Adam has not felt this loved and desired since we were honeymooners!
I’m not one to clinically track my cycle through temperatures, cervical mucous or ovulation prediction tests. I think they somehow detract from the magic of creating a life and certainly don’t add anything to the romance of the moment! “Oh honey, I’ve got egg-white cervical mucous, let’s dance!” These kinds of measures (however useful and needed for many with fertility issues) are not for me. I like to keep things natural and fun. Though lately I’ve been watching scenes from “She’s Having a Baby” in my head (one of my all time favourite movies).
After four months of continually trying to conceive (TTC), I’m finally starting to understand how conception can drive people crazy. That first month of TTC, I joined a forum dedicated to granola mamas who were in the same breeding boat. I thought for sure that I’d be leaving them within a few weeks, moving up to the pregnancy boards. When I didn't get a positive test result that first month, I was really disappointed. I had assumed I’d just effortlessly move on to the next stage.
I have to admit that now I'm glad that it's taken a little time (feel free to show me this post if I'm still trying in a year). If we had been successful that first month, I would never have truly got to know that lovely group of ladies.
I've watched others come and go from the group and felt a pang of jealousy. I've thought "Hooray for them….but dang it, why not me?" I’m only now getting a taste of how that compounds as the weeks and months turn to years. It must be so hard to be happy for others when they have what you long for, what you ache for, what you think about day in and day out. I now understand the frustration it must bring to watch people constantly walk through that conception door and wonder "when will it be my turn?" I now feel a great deal of compassion and understanding for women who have trouble conceiving and carrying a child.
That, my friends, has not been the case. We’re now in January and I still have no news to share. And this is not from a lack of effort – let me tell you. Adam has not felt this loved and desired since we were honeymooners!
I’m not one to clinically track my cycle through temperatures, cervical mucous or ovulation prediction tests. I think they somehow detract from the magic of creating a life and certainly don’t add anything to the romance of the moment! “Oh honey, I’ve got egg-white cervical mucous, let’s dance!” These kinds of measures (however useful and needed for many with fertility issues) are not for me. I like to keep things natural and fun. Though lately I’ve been watching scenes from “She’s Having a Baby” in my head (one of my all time favourite movies).
After four months of continually trying to conceive (TTC), I’m finally starting to understand how conception can drive people crazy. That first month of TTC, I joined a forum dedicated to granola mamas who were in the same breeding boat. I thought for sure that I’d be leaving them within a few weeks, moving up to the pregnancy boards. When I didn't get a positive test result that first month, I was really disappointed. I had assumed I’d just effortlessly move on to the next stage.
I have to admit that now I'm glad that it's taken a little time (feel free to show me this post if I'm still trying in a year). If we had been successful that first month, I would never have truly got to know that lovely group of ladies.
I've watched others come and go from the group and felt a pang of jealousy. I've thought "Hooray for them….but dang it, why not me?" I’m only now getting a taste of how that compounds as the weeks and months turn to years. It must be so hard to be happy for others when they have what you long for, what you ache for, what you think about day in and day out. I now understand the frustration it must bring to watch people constantly walk through that conception door and wonder "when will it be my turn?" I now feel a great deal of compassion and understanding for women who have trouble conceiving and carrying a child.
I’m a true believer that all things happen for a reason. I think I was meant to wait for this pregnancy for two reasons:
- The understanding and knowledge I’ve learned from the ladies on my TTC forum. I have never been so knowledgeable about how the human reproductive system works, nor how strong a woman can be mentally and emotionally in the face of adversity. These women have become my friends and teachers.
- I will be THAT much more appreciative of when I do get pregnant. Instead of expecting it to happen, I now hope and pray that I’m blessed with another child. I no longer take conceiving for granted and really understand that pregnancy and birth are miracles!
So stick with me dear readers. Who knows whether this will be a long journey or a relatively short TTC trip. I’ll try to keep you updated and I’ve been toying with the idea of blogging about pregnancy right from the start – so you regular readers will be second to know, only after my immediate family.
Wish me baby dust and sticky egg vibes!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A Christmas to remember
Well, Christmas is over for another year and I'm back at work after having six days off! I'm currently trying to kick-start my brain with copious amounts of caffeine. To make the transition a little easier, I thought I'd recount our joyous holiday festivities!
We hosted Christmas for my family this year - the first time I've hosted and the first time we've spent Christmas day in big blue. My folks came over on Christmas eve and stayed the night so that we could spend Christmas morning together.
I had thought that my siblings would also join us for breakfast and morning presents (as we all live within ten minutes of each other) but that was not to be. It seems that sometime between when I left home and now, they have both decided they like quiet Christmas mornings at home with only their immediate family unit. I guess because Adam and I lived in Ottawa and came home every Christmas (therefore always spending Christmas morning at one parent's house) we never adopted this quiet Christmas idea. Needless to say I was more than a little disappointed when I heard that my sister wanted to come over after Gage had napped and my brother thought he'd come around lunch time.
Despite the difference in ideas on what Christmas morning should be, it turned out to be magical. The whole city was blanketed in a fresh coat of snow, the sun was shining and inside my big blue house, it was warm and cosy and full of love.
It was actually our dog, not Hayden, who woke us up at 7:30. My mum and I took Hayden downstairs and turned on the lights and music before letting him see the bounty that Santa had left under the tree (just like my folks used to). He was awestruck and quite eager to begin the gift-opening - starting with the biggest shiniest box in the room (which happened to be for mum)! As mum and I brewed tea, we let Hayden unwrap the presents in his stocking to keep him entertained. After stockings were opened, we crept back upstairs to wake up daddy and poppa.
Hayden was just an amazing child on Christmas morning. Quite unlike the whirlwind of paper and impatience I expected, he acted as Santa's helper and delivered presents to everyone, helping them open one gift in turn. He oooed and ahhed appropriately whether it was a jar of pickled onions or a pretty necklace! After we had opened our presents, we set about making Christmas breakfast: scrambled eggs, back bacon (or Canadian bacon as some of you know it), sauteed mushrooms and toast. We were just finishing up our vittles when Ang, Dan and Gage arrived.
We went through another round of presents with the boys before Ang and Dan headed home to let Gage nap and Ben and Lisa arrived with baby Ella. We had hors d'oeuvres for lunch and mum and I kept a close eye on the turkey. Soon after, Hayden and poppa went down for a nap and we had some quiet time in the afternoon, putting together presents, drinking wine and chatting.
The big feast was scheduled to be served around 6:00. Mum and I worked together to bring it all to the table on time and steaming hot! It was delicious and I was amazed at how flawlessly mum and I manged to juggle the various dishes. The boys (meaning the husbands) all got into the wine at dinner and kept us all entertained through the meal and dishes with their antics.
I know that initially, Adam was worried that it wouldn't feel like Christmas without the chaos that his family brings to the occasion. Lucky for him, our house was just as crazy and lively as any Goddard celebration. With this third generation of family now brilliantly aware of the holiday, the magic of Christmas really touched our house this year. I was swept up all day in love and laughter, fun and togetherness. Though I didn't sit down for more than 15 minutes all day, I didn't feel tired or rushed. It just really felt the way Christmas should: a beautiful, exhuberent celebration of family and affection.
We hosted Christmas for my family this year - the first time I've hosted and the first time we've spent Christmas day in big blue. My folks came over on Christmas eve and stayed the night so that we could spend Christmas morning together.
I had thought that my siblings would also join us for breakfast and morning presents (as we all live within ten minutes of each other) but that was not to be. It seems that sometime between when I left home and now, they have both decided they like quiet Christmas mornings at home with only their immediate family unit. I guess because Adam and I lived in Ottawa and came home every Christmas (therefore always spending Christmas morning at one parent's house) we never adopted this quiet Christmas idea. Needless to say I was more than a little disappointed when I heard that my sister wanted to come over after Gage had napped and my brother thought he'd come around lunch time.
Despite the difference in ideas on what Christmas morning should be, it turned out to be magical. The whole city was blanketed in a fresh coat of snow, the sun was shining and inside my big blue house, it was warm and cosy and full of love.
It was actually our dog, not Hayden, who woke us up at 7:30. My mum and I took Hayden downstairs and turned on the lights and music before letting him see the bounty that Santa had left under the tree (just like my folks used to). He was awestruck and quite eager to begin the gift-opening - starting with the biggest shiniest box in the room (which happened to be for mum)! As mum and I brewed tea, we let Hayden unwrap the presents in his stocking to keep him entertained. After stockings were opened, we crept back upstairs to wake up daddy and poppa.
Hayden was just an amazing child on Christmas morning. Quite unlike the whirlwind of paper and impatience I expected, he acted as Santa's helper and delivered presents to everyone, helping them open one gift in turn. He oooed and ahhed appropriately whether it was a jar of pickled onions or a pretty necklace! After we had opened our presents, we set about making Christmas breakfast: scrambled eggs, back bacon (or Canadian bacon as some of you know it), sauteed mushrooms and toast. We were just finishing up our vittles when Ang, Dan and Gage arrived.
We went through another round of presents with the boys before Ang and Dan headed home to let Gage nap and Ben and Lisa arrived with baby Ella. We had hors d'oeuvres for lunch and mum and I kept a close eye on the turkey. Soon after, Hayden and poppa went down for a nap and we had some quiet time in the afternoon, putting together presents, drinking wine and chatting.
The big feast was scheduled to be served around 6:00. Mum and I worked together to bring it all to the table on time and steaming hot! It was delicious and I was amazed at how flawlessly mum and I manged to juggle the various dishes. The boys (meaning the husbands) all got into the wine at dinner and kept us all entertained through the meal and dishes with their antics.
I know that initially, Adam was worried that it wouldn't feel like Christmas without the chaos that his family brings to the occasion. Lucky for him, our house was just as crazy and lively as any Goddard celebration. With this third generation of family now brilliantly aware of the holiday, the magic of Christmas really touched our house this year. I was swept up all day in love and laughter, fun and togetherness. Though I didn't sit down for more than 15 minutes all day, I didn't feel tired or rushed. It just really felt the way Christmas should: a beautiful, exhuberent celebration of family and affection.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Santa arrives early
I got my Christmas present early this year. I had just walked in the door with an armload of groceries when Adam thrust a gift bag at me.
“It’s your Christmas present. You HAVE to open it today.”
Now I don’t like opening presents early and when Adam told me it was my main Christmas present, I refused even more veheminently. Adam is not someone who can wait when he has a surprise – I’m pretty sure that every one of my girlfriends saw my engagement ring before he presented it to me (it was the only way he wouldn’t blow his proposal plan early). I've now learned to overlook my love of delayed gratification for his love of sharing instant happiness .
Eventually, he managed to convince me. When I peeled back the tissue, I think I may have actually squealed. Adam chipped in with my parents and his parents to buy me a Digital SLR Rebel camera – the camera I’ve been coveting for over a year! It had just been shipped that day and Adam simply couldn’t wait another six days till Christmas! lol
We’ve both spent the last week shooting anything and everything to test out the features and settings. And I have to say, I am totally in love with it. Already, we’ve captured some tender moments (like that photo of Hayden with his grandpa) and some gorgeous portrait shots.
I know it’s going to be a gift that keeps giving and that it’ll be used extensively over Christmas! Thank you Adam, mum, dad, Art, and Dawn! I just love it!
“It’s your Christmas present. You HAVE to open it today.”
Now I don’t like opening presents early and when Adam told me it was my main Christmas present, I refused even more veheminently. Adam is not someone who can wait when he has a surprise – I’m pretty sure that every one of my girlfriends saw my engagement ring before he presented it to me (it was the only way he wouldn’t blow his proposal plan early). I've now learned to overlook my love of delayed gratification for his love of sharing instant happiness .
Eventually, he managed to convince me. When I peeled back the tissue, I think I may have actually squealed. Adam chipped in with my parents and his parents to buy me a Digital SLR Rebel camera – the camera I’ve been coveting for over a year! It had just been shipped that day and Adam simply couldn’t wait another six days till Christmas! lol
We’ve both spent the last week shooting anything and everything to test out the features and settings. And I have to say, I am totally in love with it. Already, we’ve captured some tender moments (like that photo of Hayden with his grandpa) and some gorgeous portrait shots.
I know it’s going to be a gift that keeps giving and that it’ll be used extensively over Christmas! Thank you Adam, mum, dad, Art, and Dawn! I just love it!To all of you, my very dear readers (yes, all five of you), I wish you a very merry Christmas. (I'd wish you happy hanukah, a joyous kwanza and a super solstace, but I know none of you celebrate these other festivities.) I hope that your holiday is filled with the love of family and friends, and that you remember to slow down and enjoy the togetherness this time of year brings.
Whatever Santa has under the tree for you, I hope that it's complimented by peace and joy, laughter and magic. Much love!
Sunday, December 21, 2008
What Christmas is all about
This is Hayden hugging his Great Grandfather at the "G" family Christmas party. Makes my heart warm to know that he will have a relationship not just with both sets of grandparents, but also two sets of great grandparents! He is one lucky little love.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
A star is born!
My little heartsong is growing up right before my eyes. Last week it was bravely sitting on Santa’s knee. This week, Hayden performed in his first ever live concert. His school put on an amazing Christmas concert – with all the actors under 5 years-old! They must be either crazy or absolute saints! I was blown away by how organized it was and how well the whole show turned out. There were a few tears on stage, but every child appeared in the performance (something that the owner of the schools said has never happened)!
Hayden’s class was fourth to perform. We had been prompting him the week before, singing various Christmas songs to try and find out what song he was singing. But he held firm on his resolve to keep it a secret. When the curtains opened and Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree came on, he was in his element. Holding hands and facing his cutie-pie girlfriend, Emily, they bounced and jived to the music while most of the other children stared shell-shocked at the large crowd watching them. Hayden soon caught on that all eyes were on him and started scanning the audience for us. He caught sight of his dad and called out to him as the performance ended.
As they were led off the stage, Hayden broke free and ran over to us. He came and jumped on my lap and gave me a huge hug, pronouncing proudly, “I dance mama!” I hugged him back with my heart swelling for his newfound confidence. I gave him a kiss and then told him to go back and join his class. AND HE DID! He ran right back over to his teachers (another first for the school apparently)!
He breezed through another number, playing a cardboard guitar and swaying to the beat (though a little dude named Carl stole the show with his funky moves). I’ve never laughed so hard! They were all so darn cute!
Hayden is the little guy in the red, just left of centre. (Sorry for the cruddy resolution, but this was taken on my phone!)
Sometimes I’m blown away at how much he’s grown and developed. It seems in the past month that he’s gone from being a shy, unsure toddler to a self-assured, confident pre-schooler. I’m just so darn proud of him.
Hayden’s class was fourth to perform. We had been prompting him the week before, singing various Christmas songs to try and find out what song he was singing. But he held firm on his resolve to keep it a secret. When the curtains opened and Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree came on, he was in his element. Holding hands and facing his cutie-pie girlfriend, Emily, they bounced and jived to the music while most of the other children stared shell-shocked at the large crowd watching them. Hayden soon caught on that all eyes were on him and started scanning the audience for us. He caught sight of his dad and called out to him as the performance ended.
As they were led off the stage, Hayden broke free and ran over to us. He came and jumped on my lap and gave me a huge hug, pronouncing proudly, “I dance mama!” I hugged him back with my heart swelling for his newfound confidence. I gave him a kiss and then told him to go back and join his class. AND HE DID! He ran right back over to his teachers (another first for the school apparently)!
He breezed through another number, playing a cardboard guitar and swaying to the beat (though a little dude named Carl stole the show with his funky moves). I’ve never laughed so hard! They were all so darn cute!
Hayden is the little guy in the red, just left of centre. (Sorry for the cruddy resolution, but this was taken on my phone!)
Sometimes I’m blown away at how much he’s grown and developed. It seems in the past month that he’s gone from being a shy, unsure toddler to a self-assured, confident pre-schooler. I’m just so darn proud of him.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
